9th July 2009

I love my mum more and more each day. And the love each day cannot be measured. She is the best mum in the world.

I have to write this down so as to remember every single thing she has done for me. She supports me in anything and everything I wanted to do, be it studies or whatever. Because of her and dad, I have never failed in things I really wanted. Most of the time, I get what I want, however, definitely not in the spoilt way. Once in awhile, when things don’t go my way, she will not put me down. She gives me more hope and goes through adversity with me. She does a great job in bringing us up and I admire her for that. I really want to be like my mother when I am a mother myself. There is too much to say about her nobility.

 Since the past few weeks, she has been quietly preparing for my studies. As I was finding for some paper, I saw a checklist of  THINGS TO BUY, all written by her. Not only that, she goes out shopping with me, foot every bill, unpack them from the shopping bags, wash the new clothes, and then arrange aside nicely for me. I have days left here with her, and I don’t know how my life would be when I say goodbye to her and family.

Can someone tell me to be brave? Can someone assure me that my family will be happy and healthy? I know I made this choice, but why is this so difficult? I know I have to be firm so that everyone will not feel sad that I am leaving, but as I count down the days, I find it harder to put up a strong front. Dyan, bro, how did you guys do it?

8th July 2009

Too much good food recently, I have not been doing anything about it. Buffet, favorite hawker food, favorite Japanese food, fab western food, even authentic indian cuisine..I eat out everyday, day to night. Farewell one by one, you have no idea the goodbyes are killing me slowly. Another buffet tomorrow, my choice. Oysters won’t kill me. It is a new love!

GOODNIGHT TO YOU.

“World Best”

A super advance 21st birthday celebration planned by aloysius and kaile. One of the best of 2009.

Today, I was told that if we have around 5 bestfriends, we should count ourselves a happy person. Indeed, I am fortunate and I should not take life for granted. I have alot of best things in the world, and WORLD BEST friends. (I am influenced by dear joyce’s bf, he kept saying WORLD BEST FOOD, WORLD BEST AIRPORT, WORLD BEST SUPPER..) I started to count, and I realise I have more than 5. And when asked how should I define a bestfriend, I said, “A best friend knows everything about me. Even when I’m quiet, she still understands. I don’t have to say alot. She loves me and also my family, and everything else about me and my life.”  This is only one definition. They are so much more than that.

I am a lucky girl.

3rd July 2009

Another friend is leaving. Do Minh Tri is going back to vietnam for good. I am sure he will do even better in Vietnam. As always said, “The grass is greener at the other side”.

And it was to Jurong Hill the other night with Ryan. He is still angry that I didn’t watch transformers with him. NAG NAG NAG.

Anyway, I thought I would be free after internship, but it is not the case. Because suddenly, everyone wants to meet up. I tell myself to take one step at a time, meet one person in a day, however, looking at my diary, I am left with days here… Hunny is still the smartest. Bought an airticket to BKK, so, we have 3 days together! Looking forward. (:

Goodbye Itac

I have officially said my goodbye to Itac last Saturday. Even though I tried my best to hold back the tears, I wasn’t quite successful as I wasn’t the only one. I was given some time to say my goodbye speech and I said, “I have come to realise that Itac has been my second home. It is somewhere I am sure that I can fall back on…” and you know, it is true. I admit that I had alot of issues with Itac initially, but now that I have come so far after overcoming each one, I feel and will only remember the love and warmth more than the downs I had. Certain times when I felt that I was the only one doing the planning work, a few people like kevin, stella, zen, zhijie stood by me. 4 years in Itac, 3 years being campus in-charge was never easy. However, it was a good deal. The exchange for the “never easy” was valuable life lessons not taught elsewhere.

Itac is just like a friend, who can be silent most of the time, but when you have a problem, it will never leave you alone.

I will continue my journey at Soka Gakkai Suisse. Itac, don’t forget to remember me.

Transformers- Egypt

After watching transformers, I looked back at those pictures taken in Egypt. What a special place on earth, I’m definitely going back again.

More pictures on Facebook. Feel free. (:

22nd June 2009

This Saturday will be my last time seeing Itac.

Had my fair share of ups and downs, more of downs I have to admit…However, I’ve watched it grow. It is now at the better side and I wish all of them the best.

And brother will be returning to NY this friday. I hope I see him in Europe end of this year.  :.)

Window seat

I am all smiles today, by the window seat.

Met up with zj today, after so long… It was supposed to be a birthday celebration for him but I received my very first 21st birthday present from him instead. Maybe it was more of a farewell gift. The smile and tears however, came from the letter he wrote, from the laminated notes he gave. For that very moment, I looked out the window and thought about the people, us, about my life, about how different we’re gon’ lead our lives from now on. I really don’t know how to express my feelings. I needed him to know that I am very thankful for all the effort he had put in.

I love window seats…
I love staring out in wonderment, in marvel.
It reminds me yet again, how small I am.
And yet, how big a person I am.
Because someone made the beautiful earth and skies.
Made me! ME! ME!

We’re individuals.
Made perfect in our mother’s womb.
Don’t let anything put us down.

I love window seats.

This chance to watch a glorious work of art go past,
imagining that in this huge universe,
on a small planet called earth, in its vast expanse of sky,
a small plane soars,and in this small place,
a small girl sits,looking out of the window,
smiling to herself,singing a hymn of love,
to the big person up above.

Then it was father’s day celebration. Went to Gyu Kaku for the second time this week. Excellent food I must say. And yk surprised me and family. Haha. Food makes us all happy. And we told dad to smile…

I really ♥ him alot. No one can replace him and the family.

and I am so damn thankful to have the person below almost 24 hours there…

(:

How should I feel

I no longer know how to put down my thoughts in proper words. I am feeling nervous and nauseous.

What happened was, I was accepted by Les Roches, Glion, and Les Roches in chicago campus. And I chose to go to Glion Switzerland because firstly, it is the degree I’ve always wanted- BBA in hospitality and tourism. Secondly, the degree is supposed to be a 4 years thing, but because of my shatec certificate, I will be joining straight to their final year as a transfer student. Thirdly, I will be able to get my masters at the age of 23. Lastly, the school is ranked number two. So yes, I am leaving to Switz in the end.

OK, everyone knows that I am very attached to my family and all the lovely friends around. None of the days have I been loved. People say I am lucky, and yes I am. People start to tell me that it is time I should learn how to appreciate my life cos’ I am fucking lucky but they do not have any idea how appreciative I am already towards life given by family, how thankful I am to be surrounded with so much love and care from people around- at all times.

In a month’s time, I will be all alone. I know I will make new friends, but those are new friends of a new life in a new me. Everything else remains here in Singapore. I just cannot imagine myself pulling 2 big luggages around, finding a hotel to put up at, waiting for hours to pass by at a strange country, ALL ALONE. I also know that I have travelled to many places around the world, I have experiences to pull me through, however, I am still afraid. Suddenly I feel sad because I bought tickets to watch liverpool live here in Singapore but I won’t be able to go now. I feel really upset because I won’t get to celebrate 21st birthday with my loved ones. I feel sad because I am not prepared to live alone for years. Feel damn sad to leave everyone behind. You say time flies, but it is easier for you than for me, because I will be alone, because I am the one doing the adapting. And now I have to hide all these emotions because I need to appear strong just so my parents will not be worried.

Everyone is taking my leaving so lightly. I tell myself I will be fine.

p.s r, Maybe you should just pretend that I am not going.

Some already know

I’m leaving on the 15th of July, to bkk first. Then on 23rd, I’ll say goodbye to Singapore. I’m really leaving to the other side. They are not just plans anymore. It is going to happen and I am not quite sure how I should be feeling. Well, continue to watch this space. I will blast this blog with lots of crazy news and fun pictures once I am done with communicasia event happening over at expo.

For now, I feel grateful towards ryan. Though I always neglect him, he will still be there to offer a hand.

Very sad to say, I won’t be doing any farewell party or advance 21st. Because bff is leaving earlier than me, hunny will not be in singapore, kyenne will be on flight, and ……so many closer ones not around. Pointless.

Maybe, just a goodbye is enough. Counting down.