我姓名黄芊慧，在来临的八月八日就二十岁了。
生肖是龙，星座是狮子座。
喜爱家人与和他们在一块的时刻。有空时我就会弹弹钢琴。
现在的我是单身，觉得这样一个人也还好啦！
未一的差别就是偶尔会感到孤独因为没人一起分享。
OK，damn hard to blog in chinese. Hanyu pinyin is crazy.
I took 20 minutes to do this.
Anyway, I’m geting only 4 hours of shut-eye each day.
Feeling out of sorts and behind my usual self.
I wasn’t being overly emotional on the previous entry. It is merely something which was hard to let out. Thank you all who left comments behind. Of course, comments are free but how many truly understands?
Anyway, Clyric’s return from the states made us all happy. He even brought back his new stuff!
And the coach stuffs for others!
Not to forget my stuff! MacBook Pro. :)) Double joy. Thank you brother…
Before the big family reunion dinner cum birthday celebrations, Jane & I pleased botak zhang to drive us down to holland village for FROLICK !
Damn good!
Thereafter, we went to Royal Plaza Hotel’s Carousel to meet up with the FAMILY. The buffet’s hot food was familiar but there was a wide spread of cold food such as shellfish, sashimi, crabs, oysters, mussels, scallops, boiled tiger prawns, sweet clams and more to select from. In all, I find the buffet better than Trader’s Hotel and Straits Kitchen at the Grand Hyatt Hotel. OH YES, don’t miss the dessert!
Anyway, we celebrated 3 of our family members’ birthday. Wanting, uncle and my brother’s. 
COUSINS. Everyone plays a different role, everyone is talented. Yvonne is in nursing, Jane in arts, xx in marketing, Yiyi in sociology, Wanting is setting up her own fashion business, Clyric in aerospace, Douglas in engineering, Weijie in accounts and the list goes on… I’m proud to be in the family!
Maternal side big family.
Special highlight on this girl. She’s Jane, my coussie, a fashionista. I’ve spent 20 years with her and she made me realised the things I hadn’t. She knows what is best for me, who is best for me and what is best on me. She cries when I cry, and never said no to anything I asked for. Random, but I’m pretty confident that I would be a pretty bride if she were to be my bridesmaid.
My ah-deh douglas, me, clyric.
If only time stops here…and clyric don’t have to go…
I’m not sure if my week ended well. I met up with an angel or should I say used to be one…not anymore now. I was protected and well taken care of. If you were to hear OUR story, you would say that I once lived a fairytale life. You would say “aren’t you the happiest girl?”…You would hear OUR story and be touched. However, people grow, feelings change, new chapters reveal.
I grow, grew, grown and is still growing. It is physics I’m talking about. Life has changed ever since. Waking up looking at the mirror, asking myself what should I put on today to look thinner? Going home looking at the mirror again, telling myself, “damn, you didn’t look any thinner today.” If this is not sad enough, how about some window shopping, looking at those pretty outfits through the glass windows, and then turning away, slapping myself with facts like, “Ay, you don’t know meh, you so short and so fat. You’ll never get into that dress la please, walk away la please”. Disappointments. I’m not good at dressing up, but that is not because of the lack of fashion sense but THERE ARE REALLY FUCKING LOTS OF CLOTHINGS THAT I CANT PUT ON.
If this is not worse enough, how about tearing while thinking of the past, thinking about the mercilessly judgments and the looks from friends…the oh-my-gawd-what-happened-to-you faces. Last Saturday, I went to a party with optimism. She’s my neighbor but we haven’t seen each other for long. I went to say happy birthday, she gave me a surprised look and said, “wa lao Jocelyn, what happen?” all I could do was to answer, “erm, ya la, fat already lo.” I did it with a smile, with a slash across the heart.
Last year, I went to meet up with some secondary school friends…I received a message which wasn’t suppose to come to me. Guy A text-ed Guy B “she really fat now. Don’t be shock. I’m walking over with her.” Again, I spent an hour with a smile, with slashes across the heart, and finally when I couldn’t take it, I hailed a cab and cried in it. You would think that it is too small a matter to cry about but it was really that painful.
Too add on, I had many suitors, HAD many suitors, I wouldn’t deny that. They insisted on meet ups and I turned down almost every time. Reason being, I am not what they used to see. I didn’t want to give unpleasant surprises. Somehow, they still managed to convince me that looks and size doesn’t matter…So, I met up with one. He didn’t contact me ever after again. I met up with second, and after the meet up, I didn’t hear from him again. I tried, met up with the third, the meet up was comfortable because he kept saying that it is my character that counts. Who knows, after that meet up, his conversations turned cold.
Ok, I side tracked too much. I was supposed to talk about angel. Anyway that angel left. Point is, people turn away when they see such a change in me. Are men jerks? OR, simply just because I’m too ugly and too fat for them to befriend. I leave that for you to think.
It is just too depressing to think that once I was a dancer, with that flat tummy. Once, I wasn’t plagued with thoughts of inferiority, once, I didn’t have to look on the ground when I walk. I no longer hang out that often anymore, for fear that I would meet some friends I used to see in the past…
It is already sad being short, now, short and fat. Pretty bad huh…
Size matters after all you know.
We have here favorite daddy…
And his favorite princess…
Hard Rock Cafe.
This is c.s and his coming 21st birthday. :))
C.s, ben, douglas.
Got to go for now. Further update after piano lesson…
Kyenne Michelle SURPRISED ME with this gift that is going to be so useful in many ways. Of course, I love it as much as I love surprises… Your appearance at ses is a surprise itself. THANK YOU SISTER.
~There’re times in life where grey skies darken, don’t ever lose faith~
( Told once, never forgotten -30th jan- )
Beautiful SUNDAY. Last minute meet-up with janey to Holland village.. We discovered frolick and it’s damn YUMMY. You simply can’t get enough…
Peach yogurt with oreo bits. Trust me, trust frolick.
In the evening, met up with my folks at Dempsey road for Korean cuisine at “CHANG”. Dad is in love with the wagyu pork… Ya, not wagyu beef.
And we ended the night with … Thanks to CAMY ! I don’t like chocolate and I don’t fancy cheese. I especially don’t love sweet flavoured ice-cream which will numb my jaws but…
Thanks to those people who said, “Happy belated birthday..” But it isn’t here yet. I’m surprised to know that some are counting down days to my birthday. And I am very sorry to say I am not excited at all. I wanted to take leave from work on my birthday, but there isn’t any plans yet. Ok so, I may be working after all.
Daddy and mummy is turning old..
Clyric is finally coming home…
And elfa will be joining us in Singapore too…
A BIG HAPPY FAMILY reunion. Let’s all look forward.
But #$%^&* I have to work. Seriously, I am not happy.
Funny how people love to assume and misunderstand and then turn one big round, making things sound/look as though I started it. Anyway, I think it is unlucky that you always, ALWAYS appear at the wrong place, at the wrong time. If not, I’m just the wrong person you should talk to.
By the way, not being nice to you doesn’t mean I’m lousy in person. I clearly do not need to prove to you that I’m nice because you will never be able to taste “nice” from me because you are you.
Oh, and I do not need you to tell me how I should put my words. I’m not good in English but doesn’t that just mean that it is EASY to read the messages I put across? Then why do you always not understand?! (Ha ha, of course not here now, it is not easy to understand my entries unless you know you’re the one I’m talking about). AND IF you think that you’ve got the oh-I’m-so-perfect-in-my-English English, OK I know, we know. Happy?
So I reckon that our communications problems are due to the fact that you think that your English is perfect and mine is not, that is why I very much prefer to not talk to you.
To end, if you ever realise that I’ve never been nice to you, it just means that you’re not very worthy to me. It means I don’t really like you but I cannot bring myself to say “Hey, you know what, I don’t think I like you”. And I think because of such dishonesty of mine, you just don’t seem to get it and you will take your time to “pester” me.
P.s: I don’t have to report everything to you because who are you to me?
I’ll talk about work another day… Right now, I’m still missing Indonesia or is it the pampered life that I wish I could have more? There’s chauffeur om, two pretty petite maids, uncle tienshu, alex, adi, ahboi, daniel, elfi, elfa and a lot more people who made my trip one of the most memorable one. They made me feel at home, and at many times, I was found guilty for not remembering Singapore. Anyway, I appreciate all the warm smiles, protection and gracious hospitality given. Thank you people.
(That’s om !)
( I realised I dont have any up-close picture of alex and gang, so make do with this one. -elfa & alex in a unisex bathroom- )
Well, it often comes into our mind that Indonesia is messy, corrupted, dangerous, dirty, crowded, nothing-to-see-and-do, along that line…However, I witnessed that the country is much better than how others always put. Indonesia is an interesting place with lots of street vendors and expensive shops with inexpensive goods. I did most of my shopping at decent malls which look better/bigger than vivo and paragon, where they have the well-known brand retailers like zara, mango, and A LOT MORE compared to our small country here. The clothings are definitely of quality and extremely CHEAP. I wonder why the Indonesian Chinese prefer to shop in Singapore… Is it for status then? Well, besides the joy of shopping, Indonesia offers diverse kinds of food, from simple takeouts to serious dining. Except for Japanese cuisine, you can never have enough of eating, especially their local food. Almost every dish is served with chili…YUMMY. Then at night, it turns into a center of entertainment. Catch movies for only $2 sgd and the seats are comparable to gold class cinemas in Singapore. You can even have both your legs up without fingers pointing.
To end, the trip was worth every cent and I’m sure there are a lot more to discover. If time permits, I’m going again!
The cake meant for “pat kai” a.k.a pig. Funny nickname.
The restaurant by the sea side.. It is like clark quay. Alil too crowded though..
you get to select your own seafood and the cooking method..
My favourite.
The restaurant crew surprised pat kai..
haha even that looks like a pig. oops!
After dinner, we headed to segarra’s seaside dining, another romantic setting. An ideal relaxing place for some escape off the hustle and bustle city life.. The cushion was so comfortable we could simply just sleep there. And poor elfa didnt get her shooting stars..
On our way home, we saw this.
Their way of supporting their favourite football team.
And for my last dinner there, I had my all time favourite steamboat ! Look at their practice of hygiene..
At the gaming arcade.
