Most often than not, the parents are the one to feel proud about us. However, I feel otherwise today. I would now tell you why.
If you already know, I used to go to the hotel lounge with my parents to chill out, dance and drink. We made some friends and there is this very old couple, around 80 years old. They would go to the lounge every weekend and it comforts me each time I watch them dance. Of course, their movements are restricted but they never cared how others look at them. Fingers locked up together and they enjoy each others presence. The wife enjoys herself, sometimes try to dance some special style and always with a smile. The husband on the other hand just look at the wife in her eyes and make sure she doesn’t slips. They would dance throughout the night, and wouldn’t be tired having smiled all night. You know what, the husband is really tall, taller than average Singapore men and the wife is shorter than me, with a hunched back. You can imagine the height difference but it isn’t an issue for them. When they go on the dance floor, many eyes will be on them. Some admire their energy, some admire their courage, some “laugh” at their cute dance actions, some worry that the wife may fall, but most of us envy the love they both share. However, all good things will come to an end. Sometime ago, my mum told me that the husband passed away. My heart sank and I probably would be very affected if I am physically there. The love between them is so strong, I wonder if the wife can take it. What will happen to her now? She won’t be able to dance with her husband anymore..No more smiles and what is left is just she and herself. Having to grow old with each other, no matter how ready you are to face death due to old age, you won’t be able to let love go.
So today, as usual, I called mum and she told me that dad would be picking the wife up from her house to go to the hotel. I asked, “HUH. alone? she has to go the place and watch the images of the past? What if she thinks about her husband?” Then my mum told me that she will not be alone as they would take turns to dance with her. I am touched upon hearing that. Mum also said that they are very close friends now and she isn’t that lonely after all. From this, I have learned that friendship encompasses many things and recognizes few limitations. They could choose to just be a stranger towards her, or just a hi-bye friend but they choose to do more than that. For me, I see it more than just a friendship, it is filial piety.
If you want to know, my life isn’t interesting. I wake up every morning, check myglion.com, attend classes, have lunch, classes, meetings, dinner, projects, projects, hotmail.com, wordpress.com, twitter.com, read fml, pray then sleep. Nothing new, nothing too old either. My elder brother Clyric who currently lives in newyork came last december and he said he would die after a week living in Bulle. My parents from sunny island couldn’t believe that we don’t watch tv here, no noise after 10pm and things like that. As much as they all love peace, they couldn’t bring themselves to love Bulle. For me, I think I’ve died many times here. In Singapore, even though I might have work to do, my life is still pretty interesting. After work, it is either dance lessons, piano lessons, meet the parents session, cousins gathering or impromptu meetup with friends at night. Other times, I would just drive to anywhere I like. During weekends, it is always dance with parents at the hotel lounge, dinner with friends or lunar bar with cousins. Singapore is small yet far too convenient and the transportation is something I’ve learnt not to complain about. Sigh. It’s okay, we all remind ourselves that we have few more weeks to go. And I am already thinking about where I should go this midterm break. I’m enough of Europe, really ENOUGH. Should I visit all my habibi(s) in Egypt?
When things go wrong, when I think I could have done better, when I feel that I did not try hard enough, I blame myself. Sometimes I am really hard on myself but I don’t show it. Like today, I headed home straight after the interview just to avoid questions and questions. I heard there were over 70 applications, but only 7 of us get the interview opportunity and 4 of them are taking masters. I won’t go into the company details but its for a leadership level. I had to go for 2 interviews and for the first time, I left the room feeling lousy. They asked many questions which make me feel as though the interview was not meant for me even though I wanted to show that I am capable, I would love to have a placement there. Questions like, “Were you a manager or a supervisor?” I said no but I held similar responsibilities and blah blah blah blah. They asked many questions like that and I tried my very best to twist it even though I could just say “NO, I haven’t been one before. I am only 21.” When I attend an interview, I would not look for the perfect answers because everyone else can work on that. Instead, I bring MYSELF and answer all questions honestly. Because if you like me, you want me. Because if you appreciate my values, then we fit in. Because if you think I am wrong, when I am honest, it means I am not for you. I know I have to impress the company as much as I can but what about the integrity, honesty, REAL personality and dignity which no one has the right to take it away from me. I can be flexible, I can do whatever it takes to adjust and fit in to the culture and environment but those values cannot be overtaken/mistaken or looked down upon.
For the whole afternoon, I was looking for faults in myself. But now, I’ve moved on. I am ready for the next interview from the other companies who may just appreciate me. I would take today as a learning point and be thankful that I was still selected to go for the interview. And yes, I am just 21. So?
I want Wednesday to end soon. Heart is beating. It is time I show the world what I’ve got. Too many directions and we will leave it to fate. Where in the world will I go? To be updated.
Love #9 is not something you say you regret having once it is done, it is over. It should be something you regret not having it lasts longer. Happy or fucked up ending takes two hands to clap, takes two hearts to feel and two minds to react. Don’t forget you were once madly in love. Even if you have someone new, you shouldn’t regret having the past. Because it is the past which gives you a better future and make you learn from the mistakes you made. It grows you. Take back your words of regret and thank the person for the love you once had.
I am someone you won’t be, cannot be and don’t want to be.
I have no place to bury the thoughts, I end up here once more.
You told me that if ever I found someone, you will be happy for me provided he is worthy. I have not found that someone however, is it time you let go? You have been waiting too long, so why don’t you try to move on? I’ve told you this before and I am sorry it hurts. Again, I’m just left with the same things to be said. Age is catching up and time is running out…I don’t have any rights to keep you and you should not be cruel to yourself. Aren’t you fearful that I would say the same things years later? I know I should wake myself up and learn how to treasure the people who love me, however, things are not in our way. You should put me away and start looking at the rest of the world..Try to go out with someone and there maybe you would find love?
Love #8 is images. When you are washing the dishes, you think of him. When you are cooking, you think of him. When you are cleaning the house, you think of him. You imagine having a family with him. Yet you have to let all these images be just images. I am pathetic. I just miss him.
Hello, it has been a very meaningful week for me because of the assessment week. If you wish to know more of what happened during my 45 mins interview, here it is!
Basically, the school invited Direction Plus Company to our school to assess us individually. This course enhances our understanding of recruitment skills in pre-preparation for graduation and entering the service industries. We were assisted through presentations and individual interviews in our understanding and development of interpersonal skills.
The first step:
During the last semester, we were told to send our CV and motivation letter to DPlus. This semester, they came back with feedbacks after working on our profiles. Everyone has our own report from Dplus and we were told what kind of personality we have, how we deal with stress and how we are in favourable and unfavourable conditions. There is even this score sheet which groups us according to whether we are more Supporting-Giving (values), Controlling-Taking, (action), Conserving-Holding (reason), or Adapting-Dealing (context). The outcome will point out the weaknesses and strengths so that we can work on it. There are comments given for each group.
The second step:
The next step was to go for an interview with an external coach from Dplus for 45 minutes. We had to bring along the job description, Cv, and motivation letter along. Afterwhich, the coach will act as the employer of the company we want to work with. The purpose of this is to allow us to get more objective insight into our potential fit for a job or position, going beyond judgement and first impressions. Furthermore, it is a unique opportunity for us to identify areas within which we may want to focus in terms of personal development so as to keep increasing our own impact. The coach will ask all sorts of potential interview questions and observe/evaluate our interpersonal skills and help us identify which component we are most fit to work in.
The third step:
They work on our profile and performance of the interview and then give us the feedback the following day. The evaluation is based on three components.
- LINE (sets the pace, focused on decisions, orders and taking responsibilities. Solid personality who likes to be visible)
- FRONT (natural sales person, public relations, charmer, likes to make deals, creative but often lack structure. This personality enjoys being in the thick of the action)
- DESK (likes facts and figures, enjoys following procedures and tends to foresee and plan ahead. Structured personality who often takes a back seat and supports those on the front line)
Assessment scores for each component is:
- A – Remarkable and Extraordinary
- B – Evident and Good
- C – Relative and Acceptable
- D – Insufficient
Under each component, there is a list of factors and the system will gives us the score of A to D and then followed by an overall average grade. Thus, I am now going to share with you what the coach and system’s comments are for me.
For LINE, I scored a B grade.
NG appears to have excellent potential in line positions. She is ready to take full leadership of the group and is able to act as a rallying person and a participative leader. She handles issues as they arise and genuinely cares for the team. Making decisions that may turn out to be unpopular and sometimes imposing things on people without discussion is less her way. She will subtly manoeuvre to avoid obstacles and reach the objectives while maintaining good spirit. Learning to challenge people more directly to support them in their growth, as well as learning to overcome her fear of not being up to the mark would allow her to take full advantage of her potential in this area.
For FRONT, I scored an A grade.
NG appears extremely well suited for positions that involve daily contact with people in a lively, reputable, and brilliant setting. She enjoys establishing rapport and networking. She is a good listener who knows how to decipher people’s expectations and meet them through win-win actions. She is a real people person and a reliable team partner who remains both approachable and sincere at all times. She deals with change easily. She innovates and adjusts whenever needed. She could be more pro-active and assertive in her communication style so that her points of views could benefit the whole team.
For DESK, I scored a C grade.
NG does not appear particularly well suited for positions that involve working alone on precise, structured, and strict matters. Her orientation is very much anchored in the present as she addresses situations in an imaginative way. Having to commit to objectives whose results can only be seen long-term or that involve investing alot of time in lengthy analysis does not seem appealing to her. Her natural ability in terms of sociability, ability to work within a team, and to meet the needs of clients would be better served in positions that provide direct access to guests. Learning to overcome her difficulty in abiding by conventions she has not chosen would be an additional advantage for NG.
Apart from this 3 main components, there is this grid and comment about “Business Impact”. That grid and comment help to distinguish between what I would like to be, what some people want me to be and what my experience has shown me in real life.
The comments for me:
NG is an energetic and cheerful person essentially focused on developing friendly and personalized relationships with people and leading project with them. Bonding with people from different horizons, acting with flexibility and creativity, having new, exciting experiences and getting to win-win results with people are key motivations for NG. The ideal for her to is to be active as the head of a harmonious team that enjoys bringing services to clients and exchanging with them. Upon close examination, it may be noted that NG indeed enjoys taking responsibilities while making sure everyone is satisfied. Identifying ways to decrease the inner tension she imposes on herself in her willingness to be appreciated by everyone would be to her advantage.
The last step:
After reading the report I got back, I am to identify and summarize 3 to 5 areas within which I would like to concentrate my efforts during the next few months. There is a last meet-up with the consultant tomorrow noon and we will have the opportunity to discuss about the interview, about me and identify concrete ways to increase my impact in the chosen fields. To conclude, I am very satisfied that the school has provided such a useful course for us, especially since we are graduating students looking for jobs and going for so many interviews this semester.
The learning outcomes of this course as stated in the course reference sheet are:
- Develop and present clearly application letters, CV and presentation skills for interviews.
- Demonstrate a critical awareness of self and the matching of qualifications, experience and skills to job applications.
- Develop a career plan based on their analysis of strengths and weaknesses, and personal interests.
- Communicate appropriately in an interview context.
And I am glad I’ve achieved alot of these. Thanks to Direction Plus and Glion. 
The surprise all the way from home came yesterday. It is always an excitement to check my pigeon hole.
Call me bimbo, but I do have a name for this 2010 planner. Catty Brownie. Catty because the theme of the planner is all about cats travelling around the world. So each pages show different countries which is something I really love. As you know, I love travelling. Brownie because it is brown in colour! :p So Jane gave this to me..Before her, I had 3 other friends who gave me 2010 planner however I put those aside (I’ll still use them for taking down other notes) because #1, Jane is most important compared to those friends. #2, she planned to give this long ago. #3, I really love this planner. I have a fetish for things like that and I’m happy that catty brownie is going to travel around the world with me in 2010, just like the pictures in the planner. Thanks cuss, I’ll put this to good use and remember you everyday.
Another thanks to Jane’s sis Jiesi for those little pictures. I wonder how she knows that those pictures mean alot to me; they are my favorites. And because I could only display 4 in the planner, I chose these four…
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