Don’t ever give up on me, please.

Hello everyone, it’s sad that I haven’t been able to write… I have been sleeping only for 3 hours a day since 2 weeks ago and my body isn’t functioning as per normal. I’ll promise to tell lots of stories once I am done with this semester, probably 1st of December. By then, I’ll make sure you don’t have the time to catch up. Still, I think of each and everyone of you every single day. Sometimes, I just want to exchange a few words however I find that it isn’t sincere to do so because I want to spend more time..not just Hello, byebye. From the bottom of my heart, I question myself everyday how are you doing…Don’t wish to know that you were once sad and helpless, yet I wasn’t there to even listen. The “you” here is everyone of you in my life. Please be patient with me, for I will do you proud. Don’t ever drift too far. Let’s not lose each other because I am just not coming in for awhile. Maybe time and time again, out of the blue, I will write something…That is if time allows me to.

Don’t ever give up on me, please.

+41 76 766 7348 this is where you can hear me.

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如果我所有的不幸是代替快乐与幸福给周围的人，我无所谓。

Paris

Second time to Paris, I have seen more but the family was missing. It could have been better. Still, you can tell from the pictures that I ate alot of yummmmmy food, and been to alot of wonderful places, seen many beautiful faces. There was half a day when I went travelling alone and it was a real good experience, however, travelling alone is not my style. Many say paris is a romantic place, but I didn’t quite feel it… This could be my last time there. So goodbye paris.

 

 

Helpless night

Hello world! I am finally back from Paris. This is my second trip there and many things are still the way it is. I will just cut the story short and talk about something bad which happened to my friend and I. Please don’t tell my mum.

Basically, our train was stucked for 1.5 hours in midway tunnel of France on our way back to Suisse. In the end, we missed the last bus from Fribourg to Bulle. It was impossible to walk home. The taxi ride would costs us 100 CHF, and you can do your own math…We didn’t think it was worth to spend the money thus we decided to put up in the train station and wait for the first bus ride. However, to our dismay, the police came and told us that we are not allowed to sleep inside as the whole station will be locked up. We then locked our luggages in the station and moved out to the streets. Because we used up our coins for the locker, we had no coins for toilet. There was no one around for exchange. Realising that it was dangerous and cold, we decided to head to the pub as it was the only open-till-late place. Unfortunately, the few hours there was a torture for me. Many guys approached and asked if I would love to have some pleasure. They started to talk about money and sex. One came, one left, the next came and so on… For that few hours, I was helpless. They talked dirty to me, they tried pulling me away, and the worst moment was when they tried to lure my friend away as she was constantly protecting me against their touch. At 3am, I could take it no more and thus we left the pub. The temperature outside was 6 degrees and we tried to find somewhere safe to rest but the only place to sit was at the bus stop…We could not take the kind of cold, plus, there were some blacks walking around…In the end, we went under the bridge. We then heard some people trying to steal the bicycles behind and we had to keep silent so as to prevent them from hearing us. i hid behind qian. It was really dramatic and I was reminded of the movie, “The pursuit of happiness”. We were hungry (as the last time we ate was 1pm), cold (I didn’t wear enough), tired (there was no place to sit), and I wanted to just sleep however my friend qian told me to stay awake as I might fall sick sleeping under the cold weather. Fyi, body temp is lowest at sleep. So we spent the whole night finding, moving, hiding….

I never imagined myself having this day. To laugh or to cry? I don’t want to talk about the details because I am trying to forget about it…At least, the train masters could have help us. It wasn’t our fault that we missed the last bus home. Right now, I am still in abit of SHOCK.

And the pictures above show our hiding place. Not as nice and clean as shown in the pictures…

Fucking helpless.

Wonder

Suddenly, the mood kicks in and since lappie isn’t with me, I’m writting on itouch, alittle difficult to type.. It’s almost three in the morning and I wondered again what everyone is up to at nine am singapore time. Is dad missing me? I dreamt of his I love u my daughter again. Is mum still in bed ? I can’t wait to tell her that my group top a project even though some mean people had malicious intentions to sabotage. Though it’s a mini thing, it is proven that evil can never truly triumph. And then I wonder if dino bff feels better after receiving my postcard since she has been home with a routine she isn’t use to living with. I also wonder when will hunny post her party pictures, as I heard that da jie sent a bday dress for her all the way from states and she looked gorgeous that night. Haha when will my newyorker bro do that for me? Next I wonder when will i have the time to catch up with camy Jiaxin and godsis shermin. Oh and how is my Dyan coping? Hmm, midterm break is days away and many students are going home, if only Singapore is near…one week is too rush. Ok so I wonder will I enjoy paris? I have been there and my impression is robbery, eiffel, Chanel. I am not a fan of branded stuff because I can’t carry it off with style since well…I am short.

I wonder how you’re doing?
And my friend is packing her luggage.. When can I go home?

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ooVoo

So near yet so far

Amazing how technology works. ooVoo allows video chat up to 6 people at once. Today, we played some games via the video chat and I couldn’t recall when was the last time I laughed out that loud. Oh how I miss 99 and my family… Anyway I maybe leaving for paris and london in two weeks time! It is my midterm break and I am definitely getting out of Bulle for good! And I am so damn excited because elder brother clyric has agreed to meet us in December. Even though all of us are in different parts of the world, we are finally going to reunite. Mum has booked a 2 weeks eastern europe tour, mainly to Germany, Czech Republic, Poland, Slovakia, Hungary, Austria and guess what, the last stop for the tour is SWITZERLAND. Thus, the family will be extending their stay here and I cannot wait to show them around…

Time to brush up my french!

Stupid

I am suffocated and stupid because of the environment.

I hate it when almost everyone here regard singaporeans as SMART PEOPLE. I AM NOT SMART. I just work very hard. But ever since I came here, I am not motivated at all. Some people are constantly trying to compete with me, day and night asking whether I am studying, what am I studying, why must I study and questions like that which make me feel First of all, they shouldn’t even see me as a competitor because being a direct entry student, there is alot of things which I don’t even know. Things such as Glion reference style, Glion way of answering essays, Glion way of structuring, however, I am expected to be good at it because I am a singaporean! Worst thing is, you have singaporeans coming to you telling you to do really well for academic because so far, all the singaporeans are top students of this university. Seriously, I don’t need all these…In the first place, who will ever spend a bomb coming to a foreign country and laze their days away? Do I look like that kind?

Y’know what, the best thing is when I have some difficulty, there is almost no one willing to help. I have never felt so stupid before. Surrounded by all smart people, top students, I feel even more stupid. Now I just hope I can pass this semester and the next, and get out of this school, back home!

Love #5

Love is no one but you.

you love penguins, and so did I.

The last time you said you love me,
but then I said I don’t.
The next time I think I love you,
but then you don’t anymore. 

How can we let love pass so easily, how can we forget it so suddenly? If only we were back to then, I would tell you I really want to be with you and wouldn’t let go when your hand touches mine. I would stick my face to yours and have our picture taken together. I would play the piano many times for you and not appear offline when you are online. I would meet your parents, and let you meet mine. We would wave to each other till we lose our sight…

We were almost there, why can’t you wait alittle longer? I prayed for you and I wished to have you. My wish came true but then of all things, I had to say those nasty things to make you go away…Many months later, when you really went away, with a girl looking so perfect, I knew it was all too late. Because you’re such a good guy, I know for sure the girl would cherish you. Now that I am forgotten, I cannot wish that time will return, but I just have to make myself feel better by saying, “No one like you will really fall for a girl like me”.

You were perfect.